Deutschland I

Hello there, yes, it's been a while!

 

so, a quick recap: during the university winter break i left for two short (but, wholesome weeks) in germany. It was my intention from the start to blog my experience having it been my first time in Europe! I just didn’t plan nor know at the time how I wanted to approach it. My intentions were to avoid DEFINING or LABELLING this blog; i knew i loved sharing my experiences with travel but at the same time i needed a safe platform to share my thoughts. in all honesty, it is confronting. I mean, how do I decide the content or the directions I want to take my blog without losing touch of the blog’s goal – self-care and Self-love? AFTER ALL this blog is a totem to remind me that self-harm and suicide is not an answer, when i have so much to love and live for - written, evident, photographed and documented. but this still denies me an answer to How i could stay true to succinct content. You know what, I probably won’t. So welcome to "my entries" SEGMENT of the blog. And with that established, let's start!

Entry I

i'm going to start with a disclaimer that this is super cheesy and cliche (i promise to get to more of the travel parts later on in the series). over in germany i had this  strange warm sensation, somewhat like watching the sunrise, sitting under a canopy of autumn trees, watching the scenery pass by on the train – that serenity, peace and as if suddenly everything felt ‘right’? A buzz, zing and sparkle tailored just for me. a sudden “yes, yes this is home” - my EPIPHANY taking on the streets of Germany, in all truth it was the warmth I had for M radiating. we could be anywhere in the world and it wouldn't of mattered. he felt like home, he was home. something i've always been curious to feel (or that i've thought i felt with my dogs. this was same-same but different - can anyone relate?). home, is WHEN i look into his eyes, feeling his touch, glimpsing his dorkiness and all that's in between. i was no longer a foreigner from down under visiting the 'grand' germany. i was so DESPERATE to capture this feeling, these moments and that lead to a whole lot of guilt. 

I’m usually one to be awe struck with how beautiful a place can strike in all its rawness. I tend to make a conscious effort to capture it whether it’s on my phone, DSLR camera or even my polaroid. It was always about the moment I see, in the frame I see it – no fancy angles, no complicated COMPOSURE. Just raw captures that I could stick in an album, place in a frame and flip through for a memory trigger – you know, like the go-lucky film family photos before digitals took over? the excitement of waiting for a photo to develop, boy! are they full of surprises. especially for someone like me who is not ARTISTIC. I have very few pictures of my childhood but the one’s I do hang on to tells a story. I guess I carried that ambition with me on trips. ironically, i somewhat neglected scenic photos and logging my activities (whoops) this time around! BEING IN A LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP MEANT THAT WE HAD LESS OPPORTUNITIES TO TAKE PHOTOS TOGETHER (and make memories, or AT LEAST how i felt at the time. maybe not so much anymore) AND I GUESS I'VE OVERCOMPENSATED - I NEED TO PINCH MYSELF AND REMIND MYSELF TO ENJOY THE MOMENT when i visit again this DECEMBER (thanks m for being such a good sport!) Although, i cannot complain how much joy the photos of m brings me. Like his mum said, M was my “main attraction in Speyer”. 

My Favourite captures with M

 
Ayaka Nguyen